But What Will I Read?!

Lots of things have been happening lately, which I haven’t bothered to shout about on the interwebz. Recently, though, I saw this post and just had to do something. I’ve been saving up some entertainment from lots of travel time, so here they are: my favorite, soon-to-be-no-longer-available skymall products:


We’ll start innocuously enough with the selfie stick. I hear they’re banned in south korea.


Next: This actually pretty awesome hot tub. All you need is water, and a fire! And don’t worry, it’s not expensive like a real hot tub… it’ll only set you back ~$4k. (Also, I recently saw a post for a ‘backpackers’ version of this. It’s also called a redneck hottub if you connect it to an old bathtub you find in the woods.)


Easily my favorite product. Also probably the signature skymall item… it’s been there forever!


Now we’re getting to the good stuff. I can’t wait to have a little dog so I can make it wear one of these. Obviously we will be color coordinated and I will also buy it mini booties for splashing in the puddles. Giggles!


Another incredibly quality pet item. Does it mean something about how unfit I am to raise children if I think it’d work well for a baby? Maybe I’m just jealous (I am) and want one for myself (I do).


Mid-post pause to introduce my company on a recent flight. You’re internet famous now! (I mean, it’s mostly still anonymous. Also, she snored so it’s only fair).


And we’re back! I can’t wait to try one of these saddles for a 100 mile gravel race.


But THIS. This is what I’m talking about. I’m never really comfortable with my hands so low (no seriously, they sometimes go a little numb). I would much rather convert my road bike (and really any bike) into a cruiser-height comfortable riding position. Particularly with that seat.


And then… things get creepy. I’m led to believe it blinks as you walk. Also, the description is “Start a trend with this adorable crossbody bag”. I want no part in this and hope to all that is good these things don’t become a trend. I think they confused adorable and horrible (close enough)


“butter your toast on the ‘dark side'”. heh.


Ok, so I might have lied about the seat pillow thing. This might be my favorite skymall item. I can’t wait to have a house of my own so that I can add touches of whimsy exactly where you’re not expecting them – like the closet or the dark stair way leading downstairs. I can’t wait until they make motion activated singing ones to really scare the sh*t out of you.

Skymall, you should really reconsider… without you how am I supposed to¬†entertain myself while avoiding eye contact and small talk with a nosy seatmate?!


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