But What Will I Read?!

Lots of things have been happening lately, which I haven’t bothered to shout about on the interwebz. Recently, though, I saw this post and just had to do something. I’ve been saving up some entertainment from lots of travel time, so here they are: my favorite, soon-to-be-no-longer-available skymall products:

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We’ll start innocuously enough with the selfie stick. I hear they’re banned in south korea.

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Next: This actually pretty awesome hot tub. All you need is water, and a fire! And don’t worry, it’s not expensive like a real hot tub… it’ll only set you back ~$4k. (Also, I recently saw a post for a ‘backpackers’ version of this. It’s also called a redneck hottub if you connect it to an old bathtub you find in the woods.)

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Easily my favorite product. Also probably the signature skymall item… it’s been there forever!

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Now we’re getting to the good stuff. I can’t wait to have a little dog so I can make it wear one of these. Obviously we will be color coordinated and I will also buy it mini booties for splashing in the puddles. Giggles!

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Another incredibly quality pet item. Does it mean something about how unfit I am to raise children if I think it’d work well for a baby? Maybe I’m just jealous (I am) and want one for myself (I do).

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Mid-post pause to introduce my company on a recent flight. You’re internet famous now! (I mean, it’s mostly still anonymous. Also, she snored so it’s only fair).

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And we’re back! I can’t wait to try one of these saddles for a 100 mile gravel race.

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But THIS. This is what I’m talking about. I’m never really comfortable with my hands so low (no seriously, they sometimes go a little numb). I would much rather convert my road bike (and really any bike) into a cruiser-height comfortable riding position. Particularly with that seat.

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And then… things get creepy. I’m led to believe it blinks as you walk. Also, the description is “Start a trend with this adorable crossbody bag”. I want no part in this and hope to all that is good these things don’t become a trend. I think they confused adorable and horrible (close enough)

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“butter your toast on the ‘dark side'”. heh.

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Ok, so I might have lied about the seat pillow thing. This might be my favorite skymall item. I can’t wait to have a house of my own so that I can add touches of whimsy exactly where you’re not expecting them – like the closet or the dark stair way leading downstairs. I can’t wait until they make motion activated singing ones to really scare the sh*t out of you.

Skymall, you should really reconsider… without you how am I supposed to entertain myself while avoiding eye contact and small talk with a nosy seatmate?!

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