Step 1: buy new pants
Step 2: realize said pants are a little tight.
Step 3: wear pants around, be happy, feel skinny for fitting into tight pants
Step 4: wash pants
Step 5: put on washed pants
Step 6: fail at putting on washed pants. Squat. Rip through the leg (not even at a seam?! Come onnnn well-made pants. Next time I will be buying lower quality pants).
RIP nice pants 😦